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Quotes from Criminal Minds – season 5

Garcia: [talking about Reid’s leg] Does it hurt?
Reid: It really only hurts when I think about it, which is pretty much all the time.
[Reid reaches for a cookie]
Garcia: “No, no, no, go away you. These are for Hotch.”
Reid: “I get shot in the leg and I don’t get any cookies. You know he’s going to hate the attention.”
Garcia: “It’s cookies, not cake.”
Hotch: “You told me you were cleared to travel. You lied.”
Prentiss: “Naughty boy.”
Reid: “No, I didn’t. I am a doctor, so technically it wasn’t a lie.”
Ray: Hey, that kid, the smart one (Reid smiles and mouths ‘It’s me’). I could use a little help.
Rossi: Reid?
Reid: Reid here.(Garcia rolls her eyes)
Ray: Crossword question. 10 letters, Crater Creator.
Reid: 10 letters, Crater Creator.
Garcia: Arctangent.
Rossi: Did you get that?
Ray: Damn, she’s smart.
(Reid looks at Garcia, frustrated. Garcia smile & nods in amusement)
JJ:You’re in already aren’t you?
Password was Cullen.
JJ:Cullen. The vampire family from Twilight.
What’s Twilight?
Do you ever read anything other than technical books?
Not much in English.
Well, I’m gonna go talk to Tara’s BFF before the media requests come in and it gets too crazy.
Best friend forever.

Garcia, can you get us an address?
Detective Kim: That’s going to take a little while. These celebrities are protected by layers of privacy. It’s like finding information on a deeply..
Garcia: 22423 Greenvale Circle, Holmby Hills. GPS coordinates are uploading to you now, and his name is Paul Davies by the way.
Prentiss: Run him for a criminal record too.
Garcia: You got it.
Prentiss: Thanks, PG.
Detective Kim: I hate to think what she could find out about me.
Prentiss: Oh, I prefer not even to consider it.
Rossi: Scars remind us of where we’ve been, they don’t have to dictate where we’re going.
Reid: What is that?
Prentiss: It’s called a star puzzle. It’s basically impossible to figure out. You have put all of the pieces back together to form a perfect star. But the origin of it, is um, kind of a romantic tale. There, was this young prince who wanted to win the heart of the fairest maiden in the land, so he climbed to the top of the tallest tower in the kingdom and he caught a falling star for her. Unfortunately, he was so excited that he dropped it and it smashed into all of these pieces, so he frantically put it back together again to prove his undying love to her and he succeeded. And they lived happily ever after.
Reid: That doesn’t make any sense.
Prentiss: [pauses and gives Reid a glare] What do you mean?
Reid: You can’t catch a falling star. It would burn up in the atmosphere.
Prentiss: Yeah, but it’s not literal Reid. It’s a fable.
Reid: But there’s no moral uh, fables have morals.
Prentiss: Ok, so it’s just a romantic little story. The point is, [Reid picks up the unsolved puzzle] it’s basically impossible to do because you have to take all of those pieces and fit them together exactly… [Reid puts the solved puzzle on the table] There’s a lot to hate about you Dr. Reid.[Morgan laughs]
Rossi: Play poker with him sometime.
Morgan: Try playing chess with him.
Garcia: Or go.
Morgan: You’re not enjoying this, are you?
Reid: I like a good paper trail. I find it meditative.
Morgan: Is it really that hard for you to be normal just one time?
Rossi: So, how long is it gonna take you to get in that ditch?
Reid: Get in that ditch? I got shot in the knee, remember? My doctor said I’m not allowed to do any climbing.
Rossi: It’s a ditch.
[both pause, Reid takes a good look at Rossi’s shoes before going into the ditch]
Reid: New boots huh? Italian leather?
Rossi: Yeah, what could I tell ya?
Rawson (while on surveillance duty on the roof): So what are you wearing?
Prentiss: A gun (with heavy sarcasm)
Rawson:You know I could’ve just missed.
With your ego, not a chance.
(about the guns on the plane)
Reid: Hey guys, here’s the thing, I don’t think I technically have authorization to carry a weapon like that.
Morgan and Hotch: You don’t.
JJ (to Reid walking in with new hairdo): Well hello
Hotch (looking disturbed): What? Did you join a boy band?
Reid (taken aback): No

– Can somebody explain to me the appeal of these sites? “Having sushi tonight, yum!” “Boss is keeping me late at work, grrr…” I mean, who cares?
– That’s the running joke, right? Nobody is but we’ll all like to believe that there’s an audience out there that wants to follow our every move.

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